Causes of Happiness and Misery in this World
Happiness and Misery might be caused by several things but it all boils down to the following major Reasons as Narrated by Rasul:
Al-Haakim and Abu Na’eem narrated from Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Four things are part of happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious abode, a good neighbor and a comfortable mount. And four things are part of misery: a bad wife, a bad neighbor, a bad mount and a small abode.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 887.
3) Mount /means of Transport
4) Abode /means of Settlement
All of these things revolve around us..if not us then our parents or friends.
When one of these things fail and produces negative energy towards us, then we fail to move on in our lives and we become distressed, disengaged, under pressure and stress.
Let’s have a profound look at each:
A Wife if she’s a good wife in terms of Deen and Character then Life is beautiful.
But things around this good wife can go wrong and she produces negative energy towards you.
What are the things that influence sucha reaction?
One of them might be a Bad neighbour who always makes her life difficult.
A bad car. She can’t reach the places she desires to reach so that she can complete her responsibilities.
And lastly, a small cramped house where she doesn’t feel comfortable.
All these makes life difficult for her and she ends up producing negative energy towards her surroundings.
By negative energy here, we mean showing a bad attitude and having stress and lastly affecting those around her in a negative way.
There was a famous Shaykh who was given a case to solve. The man complained of difficulty in his life.
The Shaykh asked the following.
How is your mount ? he said it is bad.
How is your house ? he said my house is very small.
How is your neighbour?
He said my neighbour is a bad person.
How is your wife?
He said my wife is not a good wife to me. Meaning she is bad as well.
Let’s look at what the Shaykh advised this young man with:
The Shaykh said,
Change your mount/car if possible and see the reaction of your wife.
if she’s not changing then change your house to become spacious,
if no change then change your neighbour,
if she doesn’t change at all then you can change the Wife. But make this Your last option after having rectification and advice.
After a few weeks the man returned to the Shaykh with glad tidings.
He said: he changed his car and no change from his wife, so he then made the house spacious he saw some slight change in her and when they decided to change the neighbour the wife became good and better than before.
The Shaykh analyzed this case and said it was your neighbor who was making her life miserable and not able to focus all the good things you did to her.
What lessons can we derive from the above story?
Don’t Rush in removing a difficult pain in your heart but rather try to find solutions on how you will be able to overcome them.
Look at what is around you and try to find where the negative energy is coming from.
Some people either have bad neighbours or bad car or unspacious house or a bad wife.
It revolves around these things.
Let’s look at this ayah
زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالْأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ
“The love of desires, of women and sons and hoarded treasures of gold and silver and well bred horses and cattle and tilth, is made to seem fair to men; this is the provision of the life of this world; and Allah is He with Whom is the good goal (of life).” Surah Aal-e-Imran, Verse 14
The same things have been mentioned in this Ayah.
Having no car is not a problem but having no means of transport is the problem.
Public transport is readily available.
Having no possession of a house/ living in a rented house is not a problem, the problem lies in how spacious that house is, how lively it can get how fresh it is and lastly how Islamic it can be transformed to feel the barakah of Allah.
It can also mean how the people in that house are, how their character is.
Some people make others suffocate yet it is a Villa house or a mansion with 10 rooms, yet the person living is under pressure and feels squeezed to the corner with no help. And no fresh air to breathe.
By people here we mean family. It can be kids, relatives etc.
Having a bad neighbour. Changing this neighbour depends on possession of your place of settlement.
If it is Your own then well and good you can eliminate them, but only after giving advices and warnings and there’s no positive reply.
What if it’s a rented house?
Well you can always request the landlord to switch your places in the building and if it’s not possible then the only option is leaving and migrating just like what Allah tells us that His Earth is wide, You can travel wherever you want and find a peaceful environment to live in with good neighbours.
What if the house is your own and the neighbour’s house is his own?
What is preferable is rent out the house and travel and live in a far place to avoid distress.
A rented house in a peaceful environment is far much better than an owned house in a bad environment
Lastly, changing the bad wife if she disagrees to change. Note: This is done after undergoing several steps which are listed in the Quraan.
When No good signs are shown then decide whatever suits your life for a better change.
Written by: Sr. Amatullah B.M.