السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
ربي اشرح لي صدري و يسر لي أمري واحلل عقدة من لساني يفقه قولي
ربي زدني علما وارزقني فهما
How to overcome the trials Allah tests each one of us with?
We are sharing the tips on how to forget and save your nafs (inner self) from constant downfalls of past memories!
In some way or the other, every human is tested, as this is a temporary life.Expect trials to yearn entering Jannah (the Everlasting life) and not hold onto this world and it’s humans with our hands, but rather with our nails…the moment we are told to let go, we just let go of it.
Don’t think every smiling fellow has no trials.
Yes He/she has them, but everyone hides what they are going through.
Are you the one who has always been wondering: she lost her child, he got bankrupt, she got divorced, hasn’t married yet, no spouse, he lost his parents a long time ago, his whole business has suffered a crisis, he has nothing to eat, she has lost all she has at a tender age, here havoc! There Havoc! Everywhere HAVOC!
Yet, He/She smiles and thanks Allah Subhaana WA Ta’ala for the blessings He/she has.
Isn’t it amazing? And you see yourself: you are not able to let go and move on.You don’t even want to think about it.
Have you ever reached a point where you want to fast forward your life?
Like how did she do it, how did he let go,how? How are the Palestinian people able to live and smile again?
You want answers?
1) There’s nothing more powerful than: Dua.
You want something:
1) Just Dua It.
- Do your Part in getting it when it reaches a point where there’s no way out(the harder you try to open a closed door the more hurt you get) then letting it go is the solution Tawakkul.
- Wait with Patience(Sabr)
- Have positivity towards your Lord.
When things get to a point where they are unbearable just have a moment with yourself and think things straight. Recall everything If you want to cry just do it, for the sake of the health of your heart.
After talking and complaining all to Allah in your sujood, next is,
2) Talk to a fellow trustworthy friend/sister/spouse/mother/father/brother to give you consistent reminders of Allah and that this life is a test on it’s own, email scholars if possible to know what Islam says about such matters.
Talking to someone who can lend their ears helps a lot for us to improve and move on. A friend who will advise you and make you remember Allah, help you through overcome all this, keep checking on you.
Always remember this:
It was and it is and it will always be a phase
As a matter of time , you will move on in LIFE.
Give it time, and when time passes and you look back you might get disappointed at how much time you have wasted grieving over something that can never come back.
It’s very hard to accept matters/facts, very very hard. But having positive friends is a blessing. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.
3) Some things are personal, you can’t tell someone thus writing them down on a piece of paper or Notes App in the phone helps us get some relief in our minds from overthinking the current situation. Spare your mind from overworking. Give it some free storage space please.
Write down whatever you feel.
Look at the benefits and dangers/fears of all that you are facing. Write them down.
See what column overcomes the other.
For the fears, search for ayaahs or ahadeeths to counter attack them and always remind yourself of the Ayaahs whenever you start remembering and getting stressed all over again.
4) Remove all distractors. By this we mean: remove all things that reminds you of your past. Delete all, or if you can’t then save them in a hard disk or some cupboard which is rarely used.
As they say,
Bury the memories in a place where it will take hours to get them.
All this is to help keep your mind unfocused. This takes us to the next step.
Close the visual remembrance of the situation.
إلي فات مات
Whatever has passed is dead. You cannot bring the moment back. There’s no Rewinding in LIFE.
It’s and it will always be “Forwarding”
5) Distract your mind from thinking over and over again. Keep it busy. You might still get the thoughts in between your work schedule but still ignore those feelings.
You can enroll in some course and do it, memorize Qur’an, listen to lectures, go on a vacation, travel abroad, make DIYs (Do It Yourself) at home. Make your life busy, energetic, and productive.
This is the time to do all that you love doing for the betterment of that broken heart.
Read! READ! Read! READ!
Look at what Allah says:
Surah Al-Alaq, Verse 1:
*اقْرَأ*ْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ
“Read in the name of your Lord Who created.”
Surah Al-Muzzammil, Verse 20:
إِنَّ رَبَّكَ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّكَ تَقُومُ أَدْنَىٰ مِن ثُلُثَيِ اللَّيْلِ وَنِصْفَهُ وَثُلُثَهُ وَطَائِفَةٌ مِّنَ الَّذِينَ مَعَكَ وَاللَّهُ يُقَدِّرُ اللَّيْلَ وَالنَّهَارَ عَلِمَ أَن لَّن تُحْصُوهُ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ فَاقْرَءُوا مَا تَيَسَّرَ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ عَلِمَ أَن سَيَكُونُ مِنكُم مَّرْضَىٰ وَآخَرُونَ يَضْرِبُونَ فِي الْأَرْضِ يَبْتَغُونَ مِن فَضْلِ اللَّهِ وَآخَرُونَ يُقَاتِلُونَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ *فَاقْرَءُوا مَا تَيَسَّرَ مِنْه*ُ وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتُوا الزَّكَاةَ وَأَقْرِضُوا اللَّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا وَمَا تُقَدِّمُوا لِأَنفُسِكُم مِّنْ خَيْرٍ تَجِدُوهُ عِندَ اللَّهِ هُوَ خَيْرًا وَأَعْظَمَ أَجْرًا وَاسْتَغْفِرُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
“Surely your Lord knows that you pass in prayer nearly two-thirds of the night, and (sometimes) half of it, and (sometimes) a third of it, and (also) a party of those with you; and Allah measures the night and the day. He knows that you are not able to do it, so He has turned to you (mercifully), therefore read what is easy of the Quran. He knows that there must be among you sick, and others who travel in the land seeking of the bounty of Allah, and others who fight in Allah’s way, therefore read as much of it as is easy (to you), and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate and offer to Allah a goodly gift, and whatever of good you send on beforehand for yourselves, you will find it with Allah; that is best and greatest in reward; and ask forgiveness of Allah; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.”
Scientists have proven that reading is the best stress reliever.
Reading occupy a high percentage of your thinking part of the brain. Read Quraan or read magazines, read stories, read the news. See what bigger trials your fellow human is facing on this same planet we call “Earth.”
Won’t you see your trial smaller than theirs?
Of course you will.
Won’t you thank Allah for it and for sparing you from a bigger trial? Of course you will.
This is when you have to perform Sijdatu Shukr. Prostration for Thankfulness to Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala
And believe this:
Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 11:
مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ إِلَّا *بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ* وَمَن يُؤْمِن بِاللَّهِ يَهْدِ قَلْبَهُ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ
“No affliction comes about but by Allah’s permission; and whoever believes in Allah, He guides aright his heart; and Allah is Cognizant of all things.”
And say this:
Surah Al-Baqara, Verse 156:
الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا *إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ*
“Who, when a misfortune befalls them, say: Surely we are Allah’s and to Him we shall surely return.”
So that you gain this and become this :
Surah Al-Baqara, Verse 157:
أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ
“Those are they on whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the followers of the right course.”
6) Do NOT Relate any Present act to a Past act.
Past is past and present is present.
Do not do Tashaabuh.
By this we mean, relating something that you are doing and saying , “oh, I also did this when I was…this and that…before.”
Before even you start relating,
Ma’am! Sir! Just Stop right there !
Am very sure by narrating a certain story that you had already narrated it when you were in that stress mode to some special friend before, will make you sad. Narrating it again and again and againhurts your mind and heart unknowingly.
Am sure it will not be Just narrating a certain story but it will be accompanied by other sad feelings of past events which will ruin your mood and make you sad over it again. And again and again.
So before this happens, do not relate at all.
Take the lessons learned and leave the story in the first pages of your life.
You cannot open the next chapter if you are still re-reading the last.
No turning back the pages of your life.
7) Have a specific act of ibaadah that you keep doing consistently.
It’s not Quantity that matters it’s Quality.
If it’s sticking to Salatu ala Naby (sending salutations to our Beloved Prophet) every now and then, then keep doing that. Search for ibaadaat that makes grief, worries, anxiousness, and sadness go away and stick to doing it daily.
If its reading the Dua to remove sadness then read it daily .
Have full Trust and Imaan in Allah that by saying or performing a certain ibaadah daily will help me get relief from this stress/depression.
Allah will help you forget, but you also need to help yourself by seeking that forgetfulness. And that’s what we have been illustrating above points.
People may get amazed at how strong you are but inside your heart you know how hard you are trying and struggling to let go for Allah’s sake and accept Qadar of Allah (Destiny).
You are still trying to keep up a Smile, and move on like nothing happened, nothing shook you up.
That’s the spirit. And always seek Allah’s help to help you get over it.
After a fall is always a lift,
After hardship is always ease,
After sowing is always reaping.
After down will always be up.
Hey! You! Yes you! The one reading this article!Buddy! Smile, it’s Sunnah. Life is too short to frown.
It’s a “BRAND NEW DAY!”
بارك الله فيكم
وجزاكم الله خيرا
سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت استغفرك و أتوب إليك
والسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Written by: BM