Hajj: The Dhul Hijjah quest

It was always far fetched,
The very idea
Of reaching my dream destination.
For a fantasy
It remained
Until the miracle happened.

The desiring,
The saving up,
The scrutiny of expenses.
It was all a process
Long and tiring,
But the end
Was worth the wait.

Hajj stories that I read,
Had me all decked up!
‘I’m prepared,’ I thought.
And then it began
But what I envisioned,
Was nothing close to the real deal!

No description,
No picture,
No video,
Could compare
To what my senses
Picked up from day one.

From the very first
Chant of ‘Labbayk allahumma labbayk’
That had me rubbing my arms,
To walking along
With the intention of tawaaf
Only to feel my cheeks wet
As I stood,
Transfixed,
With the Ka’aba in front of me.
And I knew
That this place
Had forever
Taken my heart.

Fast forward later,
And it was flashback time.
Sa’i had me weeping for Hajar.
ZamZam had me visualizing baby Ismail.
The Jamaraat had me thinking
Of every good I stopped
Because of the devil
The cursed one.

And finally,
Yaumul ‘Arafah was here!
My dream
To be on the plain
Now a reality
I couldn’t grasp.

For the throngs that
Stood side by side
Black, white or brown
Kenyan, American or Indian
No one cared.
A gathering
Of just humble slaves
Crying out
‘O Master!
Forgive us all!’

And that day,
I realised
The true essence of Hajj.
A ritual,
That keeps your Eman
At an all time high
That gives you the boost
That you were desperate for.
And that shows
That we are
One ummah
One nation
One people
Under the shade of our Lord
For in our unity
Lay our victory.

The day of Eid arrived,
With me
Watching the sacrifice,
Pondering over
What Ibrahim had gone through
As he held his kid
At knife point.
What a Prophet and slave!
And truly
What an honour
To honour Khaleelullah!

Sometime later,
It was time to pack.
The somber mood of the group
The sight of travel buses
The checking out of the hotels.
Preparing to leave being painful
Was putting it mildly.
It was as though my soul
Never knew a home
Before the beloved city.

Back home
It was time
To take a step back.
Reflect,
Ponder,
Be grateful
For there were many
Out there
Craving,
Begging,
Their Lord
To give them
One visit.
That’s all they asked for.
One visit
To His beloved house.
One chance
To fulfill the fifth pillar
But He chose me!
My Lord chose me!
When He could have
chosen anyone!

So here I pray,
Hajj,
May you feel it,
May you live it,
And may you sustain it.
Allahumma aameen.

Written by: Noorain Assim
© The Islamic Reflections Blog