How to Deal with Rejections

You liked this person, but he didn’t like you. At times, his mother liked you, but it was her son who rejected you.

They approached you for your pictures, but then they never responded. You wanted someone religious, and you found him. But then he, despite having the same priorities as you, was not interested in you.

You are disheartened, dejected, depressed, anxious and last but not the least, heartbroken. You doubt your beauty and to an extent, even Allah’s ﷻ capability. Astaghfirullah!

You do not feel like trying again or even hoping for the best again. You are too scared to get your heart broken into pieces, again. The cycle of your heart breaking and mending goes on and on, while Mr. Right is still missing.

Yes, it is hard and no one can understand what you go through each time and how badly it affects your self-esteem, but there are a few things you need to understand:

1. Understand that Allah ﷻ has written your Qadr, 50,000 years before you were even born. He is not your enemy; He loves you.
2. Ponder upon ‘why’ we go through hardships. Allah ﷻ says,

“…but give glad tidings to the patient.” [Al Qur’an 2:155]

Now, why is Allah ﷻ congratulating you when you are dejected and in pain? That’s because there’s wisdom behind every hardship- it teaches you patience and perseverance.

3. Do not focus on what you are missing out, but rather focus on what Allah ﷻ is protecting you from. You do not know what this person portrays and what he hides in his breast. Allah is the Creator; He knows what we show and what we hide.

4. “You relax on a plane, even though you don’t know the pilot. You relax in a ship, even though you don’t know the captain. You relax on a bus, even though you don’t know the driver. Why don’t you relax in life knowing that God is in control?” -Yasmin Mogahed

Trust Allah ﷻ no matter what decision you make in life. His ﷻ plan will always be better than yours.

5. The struggle you are going through is a part of this journey. Psychologically, rejections prepare you to keep your opinions aside for the well-being of your marriage. You will learn to be patient and stay strong, even if things are not in your favour.

6. Keep making du’aa. Invest your time in strengthening your faith by seeking and teaching Islamic knowledge, starting your halal business, and staying happy.

“And why should we not rely upon Allah while He has guided us to our [good] ways. And we will surely be patient against whatever harm you should cause us. And upon Allah let those who would rely [indeed] rely.” [Al Qur’an 14:12]

Reference: Musleh Khan

Written by: bint Rafiq

Edited by: The Editorial Team

©The Islamic Reflections Blog