Things we are supposed to do with our children:
There are three things we are supposed to do:
Firstly, ask Allah for righteous kids and ask Him to help you raise them well.
Let’s Reflect on the Quraan:
“And they who say: O our Lord! grant us in our wives and our offspring the joy of our eyes, and make us guides to those who guard (against evil).”
(Surah Al-Furqan, Verse 74)
The Joy of our eyes is not by seeing them excel in school ONLY! But more importantly by seeing them be obedient towards Allah and then towards you. By seeing them wake up at night and pray to Allah for you. This is the moment tears of joy fall and cascade on to our chubby cheeks.
And it is this..and only this, that we all need. But first, we have to ask Allah for it.
Secondly, after asking Allah for guidance and help, you need to put some action into it. Find a suitable Islamic Institute where they can acquire the authentic knowledge and be seekers of Ilm.
توكل : الأخدبالأسباب
Tawakkul is putting trust in Allah that he will guide your child, but at the same time you are putting forth efforts to make sure your child doesn’t get spoiled, whether its by movies, bad cartoons, or bad company. There are so many ways to spoil that child, and you have to do your level best to curb them.
Thirdly and finally, know that enrolling your child in an Islamic institute without following up any of his or her improvements isn’t the final goal.
In a madrassa (Islamic school) they are taught religion, but what about practicing religion? Teachers do their part by providing the authentic Ilm, but it’s up to the parents to see if that Ilm is being practiced or not. And that, should start by parents themselves.
How can you expect your son to continue going to congregational prayer while his Dad or mom is busy at home watching TV? That just doesn’t make sense!
Similar to that is telling a child, ‘don’t lie, it’s haraam to lie’ while he or she sees you lie to her.
When taking a child to get injections at a hospital, what do you usually say? ‘It doesn’t Hurt’. Which in reality is a big lie that the child learns from you after the injection is over…
How about you say instead:
“It does hurt, but dear, we have to do it for the sake of your health. You have to get better and continue playing with your toys.” Just give him or her the fact, but at their level of understanding.
If you really want someone to do something, you should do it first. Be a role model for the future Ummah, and they will follow your footsteps.
Written by: Sr. Amatullah B.M.