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Be a Good Chooser or Else You’ll be a Loser

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 
“A woman may be married for four things: Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or for her religion. Choose the religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
Ibn Majah Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1858
This Hadeeth does not suggest or encourage marrying a woman for her beauty, lineage or wealth. Rather it means that these are things that people look for whilst choosing a partner. Some look for a wife who is beautiful, some look for a wife of noble descent, some look for a wealthy wife, and some look for a wife who is religiously-committed.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encouraged us to choose the one who is religiously-committed.
Why did he encourage us to do so? Why should one opt for the religiously-committed?
This is because the religiously committed wife will ensure her husband’s and children’s well-being in the Aakhirah (Hereafter).
She will not give priority to this world at the expense of their Deen, either at a collective or an individual level in their family.
The beautiful and wealthy wife might lose her beauty and wealth over time or by accident, so the purpose for which they were married will be lost, and this might make the marriage lose its blessings.
The noble woman’s family status might be temporarily beneficial in this world, not in the hereafter.
But the religious wife will always guard her Deen and that of her family’s with every ounce of will that she possesses. She will take a stand for what is morally right and good, and will guide her husband to do the same.
She will refuse to obey him in matters that are Haraam (impermissible), as a result, guiding him to act according to what Islam says.
Last but not the least, she will raise their children upon the Deen as well, leading them to ultimate and eternal success in the Aakhirah, allowing them to earn good deeds in their graves, even after they are dead and gone.
P.S: Although this Hadith is directed towards the selection of a potential wife, if women were to select men, they may also follow the same criteria and select men on the basis of their character (i.e. piety) and not their wealth, lineage or good looks.
Written by: Saima Kazi
Edited by: The Editorial Team
Team IR

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