How to overcome the feelings of being neglected in the family?
It isn’t clear from your question as to what form of neglect is being spoken of.
In any case it is sad that one has to go through neglect as family is the most important thing for a human being. The root of our psychological and physical wellbeing is family. Not everyone is fortunate though to have a happy loving family. It is very rare. Most of us come from mildly or extremely dysfunctional families.
“Gratitude for what we have” and “acceptance of what we cannot change” are two important things to help us move on in this life.
(Acceptance does not mean allowing someone to violate our rights or abuse us. That is a totally different thing, please do not confuse the two.)
Reading the stories of prophets gives us more understanding about this world and its trials. They are mentioned in the Quran for a reason. Ibraheem alayhis salām’s father was a non-believer who didn’t care for his son. Yusuf alayhis salām’s brothers were so jealous that they dropped him in a well. Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam’s own uncles (some) were his enemies.
You see, you’re part of the “family” of people who have relatives who gave them grief.
And family is not always blood. Sometimes we find friends who become our family.
If we don’t get a loving family, we can always make one. Marry and have a kid and lavish them with love that you didn’t get. If not married, then adopt an orphan and give them a life better than what they are in.
“The best givers are those who don’t get”- Aunty Anjum.
It’s true we need love and support of people especially family. But what really matters is the love of Allah. We know for a fact that He loves us. He will take care of us. He will put love in the hearts of people who matter, so ask Him for that.
Yes you deserve to be loved by your family and get unconditional love. But if that doesn’t happen, don’t worry, this life is temporary. If you’re patient now, you will reap the most beautiful rewards in Jannah. The love and happiness that you will get there is incomparable.
Baaraka Allah Feekum.
Written by: Aunty Anjum
© The Islamic Reflections Blog
Write to Anjum Ansaar, your personal agony aunt: